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Andocides On his Return 9 [andoc. 2.9]
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Greek text with morphological links
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[8] Of the alternatives before me, then, I chose that which meant years of
sorrow for myself, but immediate release for you from the distress of the
moment. Remember your peril: remember your helplessness: remember how you
stood in such fear of one another that you ceased going abroad even into
the Agora, because you each expected arrest. That such a state of things
should have occurred at all proved to be due only in small part to me; that
it ended, on the other hand, proved to be due to me alone.
[9] Notwithstanding, I have never succeeded in being anything save the
unluckiest man alive; for when Athens was heading for this disaster, no one
came near suffering the sorrows which I suffered: and when she was once
more regaining her security, I was of all men the most to be pitied. The
desperate distress of Athens could be remedied only at the cost of my good
name: so that your deliverance meant my own ruin. It is your gratitude,
therefore, not your scorn that I deserve for my sufferings.
[10] At the time I needed none to remind me of my plight -- partly through
my own folly, partly through the force of circumstances, nothing was
wanting to complete my misery and my disgrace -- and I saw that you would
be best pleased were I to adopt that mode of life and that place of
residence which would enable me to remain furthest from your sight.
Eventually, however, as was only natural, I was seized with a longing for
the old life as a citizen among you which I had abandoned for my present
place of exile; and I decided that I should be best advised either to have
done with life or to render this city such a service as would dispose you
to let me at last resume my rights as your fellow.
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